Suzanne Marlatt Stewart
I came across an article by Thomas Reed, an English writer whose work centers on reflection and mood. He states the following.
“Watch any busy junction at rush hour and you’ll start spotting two tribes. There are the wavers, who lift a few fingers from the steering wheel when someone lets them in. And there are the ghosts, who slide through the favor as if no one was ever there.
To most people, it feels like nothing more than manners. Yet a growing wave of traffic-psychology studies suggests these micro-ritual tracks which personality patterns you carry far beyond the car. Gratitude habits, empathy levels, even how tightly you cling to your own time and space—they all leak out in that split second between getting a gap and owning it.”
One Australian experiment filmed hundreds of merging moments on a busy arterial road, then asked a group of drivers to fill in personality surveys. The pattern wasn’t perfect, but it was interesting: those who reported higher empathy, conscientiousness and “agreeableness” were more likely to offer a visible thank-you gesture—a wave, a nod, a quick smile in the mirror.
On the other hand, drivers who scored high on “trait entitlement” and impatience were more often in the silent lane. They didn’t necessarily drive worse. They just treated the entitlement as a given.
Psychologists who study everyday gratitude call the wave a “micro-acknowledgment ritual.” It’s a small, almost cost-free behavior that reinforces a social contract: “We’re in this together.” When you raise your hand, you’re not just saying thanks. You’re signaling that you see the other person, that their little sacrifice has value. That may be why people who regularly practice such signals often report stronger social connections and lower stress.
That pairing of thought and motion creates a tiny feedback loop between your body and your social brain. Over time, it strengthens what researchers call your “gratitude reflex.” The routine gets so automatic you end up waving long before you’ve had time to calculate whether the other person “deserved” it or not. Ironically, that’s when it starts changing you the most.
For readers who like concrete cues, here’s some suggestions:
* Wave quickly, not theatrically—one or two seconds is enough.
* Make it visible: a raised hand near the rear-view mirror works better than a tiny finger twitch.
* Use the wave even if the gap is “your right.” It resets the tone of the interaction.
* Teach kids in the car to join in. It normalizes gratitude as a shared family reflex.
* When you’re the one who lets someone in, notice your own feelings if no wave comes back that it’s OK.
* That’s why some researchers now look at traffic etiquette as an early warning system for collective mood. Rising aggression and disappearing courtesy in cars often mirror what’s happening in workplaces, schools, even politics.
The upside: changing your own pattern, though it seems tiny, the wave nudges the collective one step at a time.
Suzanne, a resident of SaddleBrooke, is an independent writer and speaker. Email: spiritualoccasions@outlook.com.