Ranch Writers Sharing What We’ve Written: Keith Vincent
Keith Vincent and Scott Hopkins
Ranch Writers is a group of SaddleBrooke Ranchers who have a passion for writing. Our mission is to encourage writers and improve our writing skills. We recently asked members to write about an awkward date, and here’s what club member Keith Vincent shared:
An Awkward Date
As I was asked to remember an awkward date, it occurred to me… Aren’t ALL first dates awkward? Such encounters are comprised of two people who know very little of each other and are, in reality, trying to determine if there is some future that they might share.
Sounds like a job interview without the rules of engagement.
Job interviews have predefined roles each participant plays. One controls the process, asks questions, takes notes, does the assessment, and determines whether the proposed relationship continues (i.e., gets the job). On that first date, there isn’t any of that. There’s two people constantly jockeying to find the proper place, at the proper time, in a state of total flux, where roles can and should adjust to the particular instant. It is the definitive recipe for awkward.
Who starts the conversation? How much silence is too long? What questions and subjects are taboo? What activities are acceptable? How intimate is too intimate? What if you aren’t open enough? Frankly, the whole thing could be avoided by going to a movie. You’re expected NOT to speak there.
Oh-oh… Which movie? What genre? Crap!
As you get older, you find dating gets easier. Your expectations are different and probably align more with the other person. What I wanted from a relationship as a young man is quite different than my primary desires today. The importance of the physical gives way to the cerebral and emotional. Ironically, now that I could be better at it, I don’t have a lot of first dates.
Johnny Carson once noted that he had many awkward moments doing interviews. Many people who had large personas in public would suddenly shrink and be unable to muster responses beyond single syllables. Probing seemed to make them even more uncomfortable. He surmised it was the lack of a script. I think it’s lack of preparation. A professor once told me that being nervous was the conscious knowledge of not being prepared. How do you prepare for the first date? The purpose of that date is to learn about someone and there is no history to consult.
The first date has one purpose. To begin the process of creating a reviewable history.
We used to start with dinner and a show. Then it went to dinner. Then lunch, as a lunch tends to have a pre-defined time boundary. Is it any wonder that it fell all the way to “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”
Ranch Writers meet on the second Wednesday of every month at 1 p.m. New and interested writers are always welcome! For more information, contact Chuck Coxe at cfcoxe@gmail.com.