Prize winners, left to right: Shirley Sullivan,
John Green, Diane Schramm, and Joy Hellard with their fabulous prizes (photo by Sherann Ellsworth)
Pete Watson
Most of us SaddleBrooke Ranch residents suffered from collective heat stroke during the non-soon month of July. So, a few of us nitwits up in Unit 16B decided to hold a surprise Christmas in July party for our monthly Happy Hour. As our unsuspecting neighbors staggered into the Ranch House, they were confronted with a VIP velvet rope manned by a couple of beefy bouncers. Body cavity search and a dress code … Whaaat? Luckily, there was a pile of Christmas hats at the door, so most of us picked our favorite lids and were allowed entry. Beverages, munchies, and frivolity ensued as we all compared our recent travels, home renovations, and restorative surgeries. The final tally? Shoulders and hips and knees, Oh My!
After introducing our newest residents, Jen McBride and Kelly Campbell, and Stuart and Leslie Offer, and several more rounds, it was game time! Flaming Cornhole, Bullseye Hatchet Throw, and Skateboard Limbo produced lots of ooh’s and aaah’s and, surprisingly, nobody ended up in the ER! A Christmas miracle!
And what’s Christmas without gifts? Everyone took home a Christmas swag bag of goodies, provided by Sherann Ellsworth and Roxanne Watson. Next, we raffled off four gift–wrapped bags of CRAP (Christmas, Re-gifted, Asinine Presents). John Green won a snazzy 64 oz. liquor flask … just perfect for his weekly “More Shots” foursome, Joy Hellard won a remarkably well preserved 47–year–old fruit cake, and Dianne Schramm and Shirley Sullivan each won fortified eggnog, which, they noted, “Isn’t just for breakfast anymore!”
For Unit 16B, it was another ridiculous, heaping helping of fun and stupidity. We do it often and we do it well.