Suzanne Marlatt Stewart
I am hearing from friends who are frustrated with people’s rude behaviors, either what they say or how they act.
Pew Research Center is made up of intellectually curious people from many fields, places, and backgrounds. For decades, their expertise, best-in-class methods, and commitment to high-quality, fact-based research have made them a trusted resource for leaders and everyday people around the world. Their findings show that almost half of Americans report that rudeness is on the rise, and 34% say they often see people behaving rudely in public. Public behaviors that the survey defined as rude ranged from cursing or playing loud music to taking photos of people without their permission.
Other examples: When someone is talking so loudly on their cellphone that everyone within earshot is forced to listen to their conversation.
How about the person who pulls out their phone or iPad in the middle of a dinner conversation?
What about the guy or gal who doesn’t think they should have to wait in line with all the rest of us?
You may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be continuously distracted by them. You can’t take things too seriously, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of themselves. But if you let these people get to you repeatedly, you will be triggered.
One consideration is imagining a two-year-old who doesn’t get what she wants now. She throws a temper tantrum! This small momentary problem is enormous in her little mind because she lacks perspective on the situation. But as adults, we know better. However, if you think bigger, you can see that this small thing matters very little in the grand scheme of things.
De-escalation techniques can be invaluable when faced with confrontational situations. These might include taking a deep breath, speaking in a calm tone, or even physically removing ourselves from the situation if necessary. Remember, it’s not about “winning” the confrontation—it’s about maintaining your dignity and safety.
It is important to share our expectations for how we wish to be treated and being prepared to enforce those boundaries when they’re crossed. It’s not always easy, but it’s an essential step in protecting our well-being. You cannot help others if you’re incapacitated. In the long run, proactively establishing and enforcing healthy and reasonable boundaries with difficult people will be one of the most charitable things you can do for yourself and those you care about. These boundaries will foster and preserve the best of you, so you can share the best of yourself with the people who matter most, not just the difficult ones who try to keep you tied up.
Life is too short to argue and fight. Be kind. Count your blessings, value those who truly matter, and move on from the drama.
Suzanne, a resident of SaddleBrooke, is an independent writer and speaker. Email: spiritualoccasions@outlook.com.