Gary Chalk
You can decide if there is something fishy about today’s Living Retired story.
I have been hooked on tuna casserole since I was a kid. These days I also enjoy tuna steaks cooked rare, tuna sandwiches for lunch, and tuna pasta salad during summer. So, a couple of weeks ago, it was to be expected when I got caught impulsive buying. This is what happened…
I was grocery shopping and discovered tuna packed in water on sale at 88 cents a can. I was sold! Quickly, I grabbed six cans. That wasn’t enough. I reached down and got another six; okay another 10.
Back at home I was storing the canned tuna in the pantry when my wife Jan caught wind of what was up…
“Gary, what on earth is going on? I counted 16 cans of tuna. SIXTEEN!”
“Jan, like they say, you can never have enough canned tuna.”
“Gary, you will be eating tuna fish until the cows come home.”
“That’s all right, Dear. Tuna is healthy for you. According to the ‘Best Before Date’ on the cans we have until March 2027 to eat it. That’s lots and lots of preservatives, excellent.”
“Gary, pun intended, but I think you’re stringing me a line.”
This is when my tuna tale took a turn…
My good friend Reg and I often share what we are cooking in the kitchen. When I told Reg there was a great deal on canned tuna, he said, “Gary, I like to add some flaked tuna to my salads at lunch. Loretta and I are out this afternoon, so we will stock up.” Hmmm, I sensed a tuna takeover! Before you could say ‘hook, line, and sinker’ I was back to the grocery store—another 16 cans!
Since my seafood shopping sprees, I have enjoyed a tuna sandwich pretty well each day for lunch and still the pantry is stuffed to the gills with cans of tuna. Becoming bored with tuna sandwiches, I went online to come up with more ways to enjoy tuna. Soon, we were eating tuna melts, but they became boring. This is when Jan suggested that I needed to come up with more tuna recipes, otherwise she threatened to take over the grocery shopping! I imagined tuna being ‘complemented’ with tofu, or adding tuna to kale, or to chickpeas!
It was time for another tuna tete-a-tete with Reg…
I sent a text message to Reg: ‘Need tuna recipes ASAP!’ It didn’t take Reg long. His response: “I will send my recipe for tuna casserole—for 80!”
Then it happened. The same store that had the canned tuna special upped their game last week: frozen tuna steaks for an amazing two bucks! I was hooked, again! I bought 10. Make that 20.
If you’re coming over for lunch it will be tuna sandwiches. If you come for dinner, it will be grilled tuna. Just bring a bottle of wine and you’re off the hook.
Living Retired is written by humor columnist Gary Chalk.