Suzanne Marlatt Stewart
The holiday season can bring mixed emotions for many. For some, it’s their favorite time of year. For others, it brings feelings of sadness and loss. Seeing old friends and family members may be exciting or may bring up memories of disappointments.
Feeling depressed or anxious is not unusual during the holiday season. Upcoming dinners, parties, and other family or friends’ gatherings may cause a great deal of stress. These feelings may be even worse for those who have experienced divorce, lost a loved one, or are living far from family and friends.
* Keep to your regular routine. A change in routine can lead to additional stress. Try to exercise at your usual time, go to meetings that you normally go to, and stick to as normal a diet as you possibly can.
* Be realistic and try not to expect the “ideal” holiday. So many of us have an idealized version of what the holidays should be like and are very disappointed when they don’t live up to those expectations. Try to be realistic. Remember, nobody has a perfect holiday or perfect family.
* Stay connected. Make sure to leave time to spend with friends and/or family who value you. And if they don’t live close by, call them for a “reality check” or some “grounding.” Remember to ask for support if you need it.
* Don’t be alone if you don’t want to be. If you anticipate spending the holidays alone, try to volunteer somewhere, like in a soup kitchen, with children in group homes, or the elderly in various facilities. People will so appreciate you that you may feel better about yourself, but more importantly, you’ll have company.
* Ask for help. Holidays are often a time people attempt to take on too much or do too much on their own. It’s OK to ask for help from family and friends. Whether for decorating, shopping, cooking, or a shoulder to lean on, ask.
* Avoid conflict. Family members may have different viewpoints than your own. Do your best to forgive and forget this holiday season. Focus on your similarities and replace tension with something productive.
* Don’t aim for perfection. A sure formula for depression and upset is setting standards too high for the holidays. No dinner or family gathering is perfect. It’s beneficial to keep in mind that something will likely not go according to plan.
* Be good to yourself. If you’re feeling blue, pamper yourself. Do what feels good, and what you want to do. Don’t forget about your own needs. Take a nap, go for a short walk, read a book, or watch a funny movie. Laughing relaxes the whole body and can relieve physical tension and stress.
Remember, this is your holiday, too, and you can be there for yourself just like you want to be for everyone else. Holidays are meant to be fun and enjoyable. It’s a special time of year to feel grateful and count your blessings.
Rev. Suzanne, a resident of SaddleBrooke, is an independent writer and speaker. She was ordained nondenominational, representing all faiths, and her focus is inclusivity. Email her at [email protected].