Emotional Maturity and Emotional Blindness
Dr. Rose Bricker
Emotional maturity and emotional intelligence are terms that we may hear today when chatting with our friends, families, and co-workers about relationships. But what do those two terms even mean?
Characteristics of an Emotionally Mature Person
• They are realistic and accept reality on its terms and make the best of it.
• They are reasonable and can see different perspectives in any situation.
• They can be objective and don’t take things personally.
• They are respectful, understand boundaries, and have self control and can manage their emotions. They work to understand their feelings. They build connections with others.
• They have a secure sense of self and are willing to listen and understated others. They can comfort themselves and others. They can hold themselves accountable and make amends.
• They can be fun and playful and are wonderful to be around. They can empathize, and that allows others to feel safe.
A lesser-known term is emotional blindness. It is officially called alexithymia. It describes the difficulties a person has in identifying, distinguishing, and verbally expressing their emotions. Alexithymia can change how a person understands their environment and how they interact within their relationships. Imagine the challenges when a person is engaged in personal relationships (romantic, work, or friends and family) and they are not able to identify or express their feelings. According to an article written by Rebecca Ellis in the PsyPost, here is more information about emotional blindness.
Emotional Blindness (Alexithymia)
• It’s thought to affect roughly 10% of the general population. It often creates interpersonal problems.
• It differs from person to person. It seems to be more common in those who are on the autistic spectrum, have premenstrual dysphoric disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression.
• It’s very difficult for people to have healthy emotional connections when they are challenged with identifying and expressing their own feelings. Because of this, they often experience emotional detachment from themselves and have difficulty connecting with others. So, they often avoid emotionally close relationships.
• It is hard for them to regulate their feelings and they often feel overwhelmed. When people feel overwhelmed, their nervous system often responds by going into survivor mode; which is fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. When people are in the survivor mode, their reactions can be damaging to both the work and/or personal relationships.
Would you like to learn more about emotional blindness? Or learn ways to improve your relationships with your partner, family members, and/or friends? By increasing your knowledge, compassion, and expectations, you can improve your relationships and quality of life.
For more information, please call Dr. Rose Bricker for a 30-minute complimentary meet and greet appointment at 520-820-4079. I’m located at Blue Lemon Therapy, 2252 W. Magee Rd.
Injury, Issues, Chronic Pain, and Massage
Heidi Overman
Comments I hear with clients are, “You are my last hope,” and “I’ve tried everything else, so I thought I might as well try massage.” They usually come when clients are exasperated by chronic issues or injuries such as plantar fasciitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, sciatica or piriformis syndrome, car accidents, hip pain, pain and issues caused by falls, fibromyalgia, neck pain, and knee issues. So many people are in so much pain, often hopeless.
Many people in pain ask for “deep tissue” massage. I call it “therapeutic massage.” Why? I work at a therapeutic depth to work with your muscles while feeling how they are responding to the depth. What does that mean to you? If you have pain due to a trauma, I won’t retraumatize your muscles by digging into them as hard as I can. Otherwise, your muscles will reject the work and you’ll just be in more pain. I work at the depth at which your muscles respond. That doesn’t mean you won’t “feel it”. You will!
How can a massage therapist help me, when no one else could? Because we work on the whole body.
Here are a couple of stories of my personal clients.
Client 1: Walked in with a cane in terrible hip pain for over a year. She was over 70. Her right hip hurt so bad that she was now walking with a cane. She had several injections in her right hip and had gone through physical therapy. None of these helped her at all and gave her no relief. She was desperate to get some relief. I started with her left hip, and it was extremely tight. No one looked at her left hip, because she complained of pain in her right hip. She walked out without a cane and in tears of happiness.
Client 2: Plantar fasciitis. She had been a professional athlete and for over a year had been to doctors, a physical therapist, and a podiatrist. She also had been stretching and doing yoga and Pilates. She bought all the inserts and special shoes. No relief. After our first session, she had about 90% relief and within our next few sessions, she had 100% relief.
I hear as they’re leaving, “I can’t believe I feel so much better!” and “I finally have hope.”
They may ask, “Why has no one ever suggested that I get a massage?” Many people are not aware of the various benefits that massage therapy can offer. I aim to shed light on massage and the overall well-being it can bring. I hope to encourage more people to consider incorporating massage into their healthcare routines for improved quality of life.
Self-Care Is not Selfish. Take Care of Yourself!
If you are interested in a therapeutic massage, wellness education, facials, or acupuncture please call me at Empty Cup Wellness for an appointment at 520-639-6987. My website is emptycupwellness.com and I’m located at 10132 N. Oracle Rd., Ste 160, Tucson, AZ 85704 In the business park just behind the Fairfield Inn.