Healthy Relationships
Dr. Rose Bricker
Communication is often a major concern in relationships. Whether it’s communication with partners/spouses, family members, friends, or coworkers, the issues are much the same. The question that comes up is, “How can I communicate so that they will hear me?”
Feelings of hurt, frustration, anxiety, anger, and even sadness can lead to poor communication with others, such as yelling/screaming, using threats, minimizing their point of view or feelings. It’s not until we learn new healthy communication skills that the relationships are able to improve. Old communication behaviors can cause more damage and/or can end the relationship entirely.
Healthy Communication Skills
* Express your feelings in an appropriate, honest, and direct way. Always use “I” statements.
* Avoid accusations and/or attacks. “You” statements will cause others to defend themselves and shut down. They can’t hear you if they are not engaged.
* Be specific about what is bothering you. Vague complaints are hard to work on and confuses others.
* Deal with one issue at a time. Don’t throw all the complaints in at the same time. Nothing will be resolved! It’s extremely important to deal with the issues as they come up. It’s easy to become overwhelmed when too many issues are brought up at one time.
* Don’t generalize. Avoid words like “never” or “always.” Those words only heighten tensions, creating more conflict not less.
* Stick to the facts. Don’t exaggerate a complaint or concern.
* Most importantly try to remain calm. Try not to overreact to the conflict. If you feel overwhelmed, “take a time out.” Take a walk, do deep breathing, journal, pet the cat, play with the dog, do the dishes, do housework or yard work, whatever works for you to calm down.
You can learn to use healthy communication skills to improve your relationships!
If you would like more information on healthy communication, healthy relationships, or managing stress, anxiety, anger, grief, or loss, please call me for a complimentary 30-minute meet and greet appointment at 520-820-4079. My website is bluelemontherapy.com.
Finding the Right Wellness Provider for You
Heidi Overman, LMT, Integrative Health and Wellness Coach
One comment I hear often is, “I can’t find the right massage therapist, esthetician, or wellness practitioner for me.” Choosing a provider is personal. You are trusting someone with your body, health concerns, goals, and, sometimes, parts of your story that have left you feeling unheard.
A provider may have excellent credentials and still not be the right match for you. It is about finding someone whose training, approach and communication style align with your needs.
Start With What You Need
Before booking, consider what you hope will be different. Are you seeking relaxation, support for chronic pain, help recovering from an injury, better mobility, or care for a specific skin concern? The clearer you are, the easier it becomes to look for relevant experience.
Ask providers how they approach concerns like yours, what a typical session involves and how they decide what is appropriate. Ask what you should expect afterward and whether they refer clients to other professionals when needed. A trustworthy practitioner should answer comfortably, explain the limits of their training and recommend medical or specialized care when your needs fall outside their scope.
Conversation Is Part of Your Care
At Empty Cup Wellness, something important to me and to our massage therapists, acupuncturist, and esthetician is learning how you are doing before you get on the table. We ask how you feel, what has changed, and what you hope to receive from the appointment. With new clients, we review health conditions, past injuries, medications, sensitivities, and other information that may affect care.
You do not need to remember everything immediately. An old injury may not seem relevant until your therapist notices that one side moves differently. During your session, you might remember a surgery, fall, medication change, or stressful event. Your practitioner may feel or observe something that leads to another question.
Early sessions may include more conversation because we are learning about you while you are learning how we work. Communication is not an interruption to your care; it is part of personalized care.
Trust the Relationship and Yourself
Communication should continue throughout every appointment. You should feel comfortable discussing pressure, positioning, temperature, products, sensations, pain, or boundaries. Consent is ongoing, and you may request an adjustment or change your mind at any time.
Sometimes an imperfect session can improve when you explain what you need. A responsive provider will welcome that feedback. But if you repeatedly feel dismissed, pressured, judged, or unheard, you are allowed to choose someone else. Changing providers is not disloyal; it is taking responsibility for your well-being.
Meet Our Wellness Community
Empty Cup Wellness will host an Open House on Friday, Nov. 6, from 2 to 5 p.m., at 10132 N. Oracle Road in Oro Valley. Tour the center, meet our practitioners, enjoy demonstrations and mini experiences, and ask questions.
The right provider will listen, explain your options, respect your boundaries, and include you as a participant in your care.