Unit 16B residents at their patriotic best! (Photo by Larry Ingram)
Historical Madness in Unit 16B
Pete Watson
As we age, many of us suffer the usual aches and pains and sometimes can be a little forgetful. It just so happens that Will Wells, our favorite pool guy, “forgot” what his Unit 16B neighbors did to his home at last year’s 4th of July Pool Party. So, he foolishly offered up his home again! It looked like the casting call for the Slim Pickens Gang from Blazing Saddles. There were crooks, bikers, thugs, hard asses, bad asses, jack asses, grifters, drifters, hooligans, rap stars, convicts, jailbirds, nuns, thieves, outlaws, drinkers, smokers, and tattooed septuagenarians hanging around to gobble up the free food. And did I mention beer? A few lookie-loos from 16B sheepishly peeked over the neighbor’s fence to witness the debauchery and shenanigans taking place in Will’s backyard. Next door neighbor Pam Engelhardt went all out and decorated the entire place in festive 250th Year bunting, flags, and banners. It was quite the scene as all the uninvited nitwits, halfwits, and dimwits started marching in unison around the pool to the rousing tunes from John Philip Souza. As usual, the Swedish Bikini Team parachuted into the pool with their red, white, and blue smoke flares and cowboy boots. The ladies told us that they love to party with old, fat white dudes in speedos. What a scene! What a mess! What a fabulous way to celebrate our nation’s 250th birthday!
And we can only hope that Will forgets all about it in time for next year’s party!